2013 in spoken word I couldn’t coherently put into sentences myself
last year was great in music
A moment of silence to all the kids who can’t wait to become a teenager because they think it’s fun
Two hours of silence for all the teenagers who can’t wait to become adults because they think they’ll get to do whatever they want
a shot of vodka to all the 20 somethings who are coping with a lack of rent money by sitting around eating captain crunch in dinosaur PJs wishing they were actually a pre-teen again.
I want a friend that I can watch movies with, smoke with, have sex with, get drunk with, etc and the end of the day we’ll always be there for each other.
That would be clutch.
The Evolution of Beyonce’s solo albums.
(Source: quarrterquels, via properthuglife)
Anonymous said: How do you do the shmoney?
- throw ya hat in the air
- step w/ ya right foot, bend ya right knee & move ya hips to the left.
- step w/ ya left foot, bend ya left knee & move ya hips to the right.
- sway ya arms to the beat
you successfully dancin like ya auntie at the cookout
sad thing is, you can’t beat this man in a fight so you can’t say shit about his fit
He liable to snap your wrists and make you gouge your own eyes out.
(Source: illmindofcodet, via ig0ts0le)
Anonymous said: Fellas, how did you learn to go down on a girl? I know practice makes perfect but this seems like one of those things that always needs experience to even get started.
Bryant: it takes practice. it takes being humble because you should always be open to new techniques…never settle. eat pussy like an underdog.
Take a peach. Bite a big ol’ hunk out of it. Now, figure out how many different ways you can lick that peach. Seriously, keep count. Now try to replicate some of them. Do that, before you read on. I’ll wait.
When you’re done, eat the rest of that peach. If you aren’t disgusted by how much slobber is on that peach, then you have not found enough ways of licking it yet. Try to nibble the peach without piercing its flesh. Keep going with all the parts of your mouth until you can’t hold onto the peach anymore because it’s too slippery. Did you lick the pit a bit too? No? Better get your ass another peach.
Now take a strawberry. Lick, suck, and nibble that strawberry from the peak end until you get it about half gone. Lick the strawberry to death, too, but don’t be afraid to get on that green-leafy section too. You might be surprised at how the licks you tried on the peach are different, and how the seemingly-unappetizing green leafy part really isn’t so bad (especially after your tongue is covered in strawberry juice anyway). Why yes, that is a euphemism for pubic hair! You’re learning! Try to nibble the strawberry without piercing its flesh.
Now find a willing partner and SPECIFICALLY ASK THEM if they would be willing to have you go down on them and give you feedback, both during and after. Put one hand on their hip, and one hand on their breast (you did wash them first, right?)—let’s leave your hands out of this, for now. Allllll those different licks and nibbles, try them out on all the different parts going on down there. Part labia, move it around, find the clitoris, all with your tongue and lips, and no fingers allowed. Nose is cheating but if you use it we will let it slide. Try things a few times in a row and see what your partner says, if anything, and then do something else a few times. Don’t do any one thing for too long, unless your partner tells you not to stop or moan in disappointment when you change it up a bit.
After your partner has declared themselves spent, then and only then may you stop. Jaw hurts? Use your lips closed for a while, or open up more. Drowning? Good job, there are worse ways to go.
Now, go forth, and take that pussy to church!
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BASE CODE BY Sarah Mogin
EDITED&PERSONALIZED BY: ubhie
IMAGE is not mine.